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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed guide to the words Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {